A beuitiful disaster
by claire blake
Summary: Jazzelle has never been a typical teenager, but when an accident changes her life, how will she deal? read and find out! Really good! :
1. Chapter 1

**Preface**

I have never been considered a "normal" person. I lot of people don't understand me and the way I think. The only person who did understand me was my grandmother. She died in a few years ago. I took it really hard. A piece of me died with her. I have never been the same since. I miss her so much it hurts. I still think of her all the time. I sometimes picture her face, and sometimes I can't. I can almost smell her perfume. Hear her laugh. The pain is so bad. The only thing that I have left of her is her necklace. It wear it all the time and never take it off. It has become a part of me. It almost makes me feel protected. It makes me feel in touch her. I wish my grandmother was still alive though. I mean, my parents are not exactly great. My mother is the total opposite of me. She is pretty, social, and outgoing. Everything I'm not. She loved high school. I hate it. As for my dad, well hes just around some of the time. I feel no emotional attachment to them. More so my dad. There just my parents, nothing more. We have diffrent... ideas me and my parents. I think the main difference is I care. Unlike most people in the world. I'm EXTREMLY hyper sensitive too. About feelings, people, animals, things like that. I've always thought it was weird of me. By the standard of other people I am weird. So if you havn't already guessed I don't have any friends. But its okay. My grandmother was the only I have ever loved in my life. I have no one else though. Nothing. But thats okay. I just hope I can still get out of this place when I'm 18.

**Chapter 1**

It started off as a normal day, little did I know it would change my life forever. I faced yet another aggravating day of school.

I have asked my parents so many times if I could be home-schooled. I have the grades; I wouldn't be like those kids who use homeschooling as an excuse to slack off.

Of course my mother would not understand why I would not want to be interacting with the other kids at my school all day. My grandmother wouldn't have let me either, but for different reasons. She would think it would be a sign of defeat. She was strong like that. She made me feel stronger too. I feel like I would be able to do a lot of things if she were around.

I manage to slip by without talking in English, Math, and Spanish. Unfortunately in History we have to give a presentation. I get a B+, my teacher said he would have given me a regular A if I wasn't so nervous when I was talking.

If only he knew how it felt to be standing up in front of large of group of people who already judge you and talk about you without put up in front of them to make fun of me some more. Their stares, I can only imagine what they think. Its hard sometimes, I'm so used to it though it ussually dosen't matter. My next obstacle of the day is going home. I don't really consider it home. I home is a place with your loved ones, or something like that they say. I do love my parents. But only because there my parents, and I feel guilty if I don't. I know that sounds weird. But well, I am weird.

My home is more of an annoyence then anything. My mother thinking that if we spend time together doing girl things it will rub off on me. Since I was three I did beuety pagents. At twelve I was old enough to decide I didn't like it and say it was enough. She wasn't happy about it, but atleast I didn't have to do them anymore.

When I get home she always bombards me with questions like who I hung out with. When I say yet again, like every other day that I don't have friends she just sighs and gives me a lecture that I should get over myself and try to be more friendly. "If only you could be more like how I was Jazzelle!" She basically gives me social advice...

Her biggest thing is if I spent more time on my appearance people would be more inclined to talk to me... Okay... If only it was that easy. Besides, I don't want to hang out with those shallow bitches.

I have so much resentment towards my mother sometimes for doing this. She can never just accept me. I'm not going to be your Barbie! So just get the hell over it! But still, she beleives deep down that I will turn around one day and be the perfect daughter shes always wanted. And I've tried! I've tried so many times to be her ideal daughter but it just dosen't work. Out of all the pagents I did when I was little I never won once. I would practice by myself for hours so I would make her proud. Its never happened though. Shes never given me a hug, and said I'm proud of you. Now I just don't even try, its not really worth it. Its never gonna happen so why try?

When I come in my mother is in her office on the phone, thank god. I hate our little after school talks. Its like the kids at school. You would think I would be used to it, but it still hurts when shes points out all the things that are wrong with me. Everything is wrong me. I was made wrong...

I just head straight up stairs to do my homework. I ussually have a lot to do anyways because I'm in all AP classes. That is one good thing about me, I'm smart. Not that she cares that I always get good grades or make the honor roll. Its not as good as winning a pagent I guess... Well atleast if I'm not pretty, atleast I'm smart and can get a good job. Not like that madders in this house.

I take my time, doing my best to take extra long to finish it all. I even do extra credit because I have really nothing else to do. And I want to avoid my mother.

Ussually after that I read. And read. Books are like my friends. Sometimes I even finish two books a night.

Once I've done all I could of homework I go down and eat dinner with my mother and sister. Oh yeah. My sister. My sister is okay. Shes going through phase where she dresses like goth or emo?. I don't know which one she calls it, but she wears a ton of dark makeup and dresses like a witch. Yeah. Atleast I don't do that. But shes is accepted for it though. Well, she has a group of friends who dress like here as well.

My poor, poor mother. Both her daughters are completely not what she wanted. Me more so. My sister has friends. I have nothing. I also think she has resentment towards me because of my grandmother. She was never as close to her as I was. I don't know. I get that feeling sometimes. My grandmother was definatly not approving of my mother most of the time. She didn't beleive in her frivolousness.

Once we get through the dreaded conversation, we make more polite chit-chat, waiting for my dad to come home. Which he never actually does, but my mom still likes to pretend there is a chance that he'll come home. I feel kind of bad for her, the way she watches the door waiting for him. Its kind of pathetic... but I still feel sorry.

After we finish eating my sister and go eat dessert in the living room. Thank god for the tv. If we didn't have that we would just be sitting there in silence. We never talk, we aren't really that close me and Avery. Closest thing we have in common is that we both are pissed half the time our mom.

My mom is in the kitchen washing dishes when my dad finally decides to show up two hours later then he said he would be. Unfortunatly the living room and kitchen are so close we can hear their conversation.

"Oh, your home! How was work?" Her voice is way too happy. It really pathetic...

"There is some pasta left in the pot... if you want some."

"The usual. Sorry I had to stay late, big project coming up" he replies.

"Would you like some dinner?" my mother asks hopefully. "I can sit down with you and I don't now, maybe we could just talk, you and me."

"Love to, but I think we'll have to take a rain check." Lier. You don't care if you see any of us at all. "I'm really tired and me and Bob went out for drinks after we finished." Of course! When is he not out with his friends after work!

"Yeah! thats sounds great. I'm looking forward to it" I can hear the dissepointment in her voice. I can tell she is trying to hide it though. Its what she deseverse. She wants to have the perfect family, well perfect looking one, she has to deal with the consequences. Although it feels like most of the time she isn't the only one...

"Great! I love ya. Looking forward to it too" Hes such a fake, phony, kiss ass. He bothers me almost as much as my mother.

After her failed attempt with my father, she comes in to see what we're up to.

"What are you watching?" she asks sweetly.

"A show that shows the despicable lack of intellect that is now the face of our society as it goes into a downward spiral" My sister explains.

She makes a face. Oblivously not the answer she was expecting.

"As interesting as that sounds Avery, I think I'll make a few more phone calls and head up to bed." She retreats to her little sitting room, which doubles as an office. I suddenly get overcome with tiredness. Its been a long day. It wasn't particularly bad, but I still feel a little depressed. I head up to my room early. I give a quick goodnight to my mother and Avery.

Heading up the stairs I think of how stupid my family is. My shallow mother and how she cares about nothing more then making our family look good. How she can't except the fact that me and my sister aren't her perfect steriotypical Barbie doll daughters. Shes so stupid, and mean, and pathetic. I hate her so much! And my stupid father. He could easily come home once and a while. He definatly does not add to our shitty family. Avery is just never does anything at all. I hate my family! I hate them so much!

I feel angry and sad. Nobody ever tries to make an effort do they? They only person who did was my grandmother, she was the only one who could hold our family together. My family. I could just scream! I feel the heart shaped pendent on the gold chain of my necklace turn ice cold. The hot tears streaming down my face.

I rush to my bedroom looking for some salvation. I collapse on my bed. I keep thinking about how awful my family is. I think of my grandma. How sad and dissapointed she would be. I wallow in my sadness. The pain starts to swallow me up. I start to cry, kicking and flailing my arms around like a crazy person. The pain is too much. I've never felt anything like this. My heart feels like its sinking in my chest. I scream. I yell. I cry. I act like I never have before. I feel like I'm possessed. I wish it. Its too much. My heart pendent burns like fiery ice. And eventually, it does stop. Slowly the pain fades, and I am left lying on my bed in a heap. Tears still streaming down my face in fright. That was terrifying.

A few minutes later when I have calmed down and begin to relax I get up slowly to see the damage in the mirror. My hair was wild and my eyes red with large puffy cheeks. I peek out my door to see if anyone is around as I sneak to the bathroom. I don't want to have to explain myself to anyone. I splash some cold water on my face and brush my teeth. I go back to my room and crawl back into bed. I try to sleep but I have a feeling after the that I wouldn't be able to. So I got up and went to my bookshelf. I look through my collection of Jane Austin. Too heavy for right now though... Then I look to the third shelf to Alice in Wonderland. One of my favorite books when I was little. I wish I could fall down a rabbit hole that takes me to another world...

I get to chapter 13 before I get too exhausted to keep my eyes open. I let my book fall out of my hand and turn on my side.

I start to dream I am walking down a dark alley way. Something tells me I shouldn't be here. Something is wrong. I feel like there is a force making me go forward. My feet and my brain argue. My feet keep going but my brain says to stop.

I walk a little farther down to see a light at the very end. The force begins to draw me to it. My curiosity overtakes me and slowly I wind my way to see what is there. I am a foot a way from where the light is coming from. I walk closer to see two of the most beautiful boys I have ever seen in my life. There skin was pale like mine, but different. It was like porcelain, real porcelain; translucent like glass. I gasp in shock. They shock too. I get a closer look at them. One was tall with flaming red hair and some of the biggest muscles I've ever seen. The other was a little shorter, but still taller than me. He had jet black hair, it contrasted beautifully against his skin.

The older looking one says to the other and says, "Its her! What is she doing here now?"

The boy with the dark hair just stares at me in horror. I try to run, but I feel I am stuck. It is the most terrible feeling.

He just looks at my necklace and gasps. It flares with heat sending a pain shooting through my whole body. I am so scared. I just want to wake up.

The red head turns to me and says, "don't just stand there! Kill her!"

Okay, now I should really run.

Before I can the dark headed boy walks over to me turning his head towards my neck...

A beep goes off, and I jump up in a cold sweat. I get out of bed trying to shake off my dream. It was only a dream Jazzelle... only a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

All day at school I couldn't concentrate. I had so much on my plate at the moment. Every teacher in all of my classes asked if I was alright. I said I was fine and bolted out of class as soon as the bell rung. The day dragged on slowly. Eventually the final bell sound and I was free to go.

I decided to walk home today instead of taking the bus. I really didn't feel like getting on and watching the stares as I sit by myself. Its long walk home, but I don't mind killing some time. I wanted to clear my head a bit before dealing with my family.

When I turned the corner to my house I saw my dad's car was in the driveway, but my mother's wasn't. Hmmmmmm, mom must still be at work, but, why is dad home?

Anxious to see whats going on I dig my key out of my backpack and quickly unlock the door.

When I walk into the living room I see my father on the couch making out with a woman who is obviously not my mother... I recognize her as his secretary Sherrie Mcpherson.

I'm in such a state of shock I don't know what to do. My body starts to take over. "What?" I say half yelling, half crying.

Sherries looks up. My father springs up off the couch and just stares at me in shock. He's speechless. So I speak for him.

"Dad! How could you do this?" I feel the pendent on my necklace getting extremely hot. I could feel the hot tears of anger streaming down my face.

After minute he manages a weak "I'm sorry."

"Is that all you can say? How could you do this to me! And Avery! and... mom!"

"It wasn't what it looked like Jazzelle! I swear!" He says urgently. As if I would believe me... He doesn't even have enough back bone to owe up to what hes done.

"Wasn't what it looked like?"... "It wasn't what it looked like? Dad I walk in and your secretary on the couch...! Your cheating on mom!" I wailed. The hot tears slid down my face. I quickly brushed them away with the back of my hand. I didn't want to start crying now. Its funny. I'm the first one to think my mom deserves everything she gets, but this, this is a whole new low for our family. It just feels like my whole world is out of control and I don't know what to do.

I looked over at Sherrie I had forgotten was ever still here. She was pressed up against the wall like a deer in the headlights. I was so enraged I wanted to spit in her face.

She turns to my father and says "I think its time that I went home." Yeah. I would think so you dumb slut!

My father, who is looking down at his shoes, nods his head without looking up. Before going past me to get to the door she stops and says to me "I'm very sorry for everything."

"You should be you stupid homerecking bitch" I spit out under my breath.

I'm not even sure if she heard me, but my father certainly did.

"Don't be rude Jazzelle" he says through his teeth. Amazing! He has the audacity to say that after just ruining the last little bit of a family that we had.

"I know your upset, but don't be rude." Hey, a news flash "dad," you lost the privilege to tell me what I can and can't do a while ago. I was also pissed he would have the nerve to get mad with me!

"Okay dad! Sure! I'll just let you go of everything that just happened. Why not! Our family was ruined long before you started having an affair. If you can even call this a family!"

That suppressed him. Either he was suppressed I finally told him off, or hes as dumb as he looks, and he has no idea our family was in such turmoil. I mean, hes not around enough to know anyways."

"Don't you think your over reacting honey?..." Is he serious? He is so delusional, I can't even believe it! I laugh. I couldn't handle this anymore. I turned around to leave again. I hear him saying things behind me. Asking me where I'm going and don't you leave the house young lady. I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted him to stop talking. I whipped around and he went shooting five feet backwards. I didn't even touch him. I didn't know how I did it, but I was glad I did. He lay there on the floor in shock. I turned to him and smiled before running out of the house slamming the door behind me.


End file.
